Bookworm

Already Cadence has picked up on her daddy's love of books...although she hasn't quite figured out exactly what they're for.

Leaves

Here are the results of Eric's yard work last weekend....

A child is born

I recently narrated our Children's Christmas program at church. It was a very simple production in which the children enacted the story of the birth of Jesus as I told the story. It is so strange how such a familiar story can still be experienced from a new angle. A simple story that is as nuanced as a fine wine. A story one can savor over the course of a lifetime.

I suppose there are many things we encounter in life like this. As time passes, as circumstances in our life come and go, we gain different perspectives and insights. These create new meaning regarding such familiar stories, regarding our own memories and regarding the people we know. I still think of myself as very young, yet already in awe of the way the passage of time seems to reveal new facets of what was once thought to be so concrete and true, adding a richness to joy, and helping bring healing to pain. Perspective. Insight. Experience.

I'm reminded of the legacy that can be told by one who is familiar with reading the rings of a fallen tree. Are our lives not too unlike these trees? If there were a way to peer upon a cross-section of our spirits would there not be a legacy of the droughts, the fires and the years of abundance and growth? Would there not be a wonderful and mysterious story to be told of how those times mingled together, touched one another and made way for the next to come, ultimately creating the plane for the present and the days yet unannounced? I would not be who I am today if it weren't for what has already passed. Yet does not the present just as much inform the past?

Long ago, a young woman was visited by an angel. She was terrified at this holy apparition but the angel somehow spoke soothing words that brought a peace beyond understanding to the core of this young woman's soul. She humbly accepted her role. She forsook all claim to dignity and pride as she carried a child she could not rationally explain. And when it came time, and the pains of labor were at their height, she and her husband were still searching for a place for her to lie. Finally, they crept into a stable where amidst the animals a small babe cried out into the night, filling his lungs with air he had long before once breathed. As she peered intently at this small being and brought him to her breast, the words that soothed her months before faintly echoed in the stillness of that moment, again flooding her soul.

In this I am reminded that for every moment of confusion, of pain, of disappointment, are words that transcend their own boundaries, that speak at a soul level, and that enter into and forever alter the experience of that time.

Celebrity treatment

So I began this blog thinking it would be a regular thing for me, sort of like a hobby. Wait, do new parents get to have those? Poor, poor blog. How I have abandoned you. Good thing you don't rely on me for food and water and changing. Ok, maybe the changing...in some sense of the word.

Well, to hopefully satisfy any of you who are still watching, here are a few pictures that are fairly recent. The little one has discovered her own lips and her finger, fist, my finger, toys, pretty much whatever she can get to her mouth. You might also note the reflection on her chin of the ever-present drool in one picture. There aren't too many times on our lives when drooling is cute. Actually, babies can get away with a lot. It's like some sort of star status...baby status. Loud gaseous emissions, constant salivating and the occasional curdy burp, and messy, colorful, noisy stools all simply incite giggles and grins from all of us grown folks. A baby can pull people's hair, lift her dress up over her head, and sleep in the middle of church. Some babies have even been known to slip up the occasional "bird". We just giggle and grin, and even take pictures of such misbehavior. After all, they're just babies, cute and innocent creatures. Or maybe, just maybe, your little one is trying to say, "hey, you let me cry a little too long just then" or "next time serve the milk a little warmer", or maybe even "You're making me wear this stupid hat again? It makes me look fat!" But then again, that's pure speculation. Until there has been some scientific breakthrough that allows us to actually peer into the thoughts of our children, I'll continue to giggle and grin and be in awe of all the silly little, gross little things my cute and innocent creature throws my way.

"Where's the baby?"

We have a baby sling. Eric was actually the one who insisted we get one when we were registering for baby stuff while I was still pregnant. He picked it out. This is the primary way Cadence gets toted around when we are out and about. It's been pretty useful at home too. So our first day to church after Cadence was born, we arrive with daddy carrying her all snuggled in her sling. A few people wondered aloud, "where's the baby?" We enjoyed the look of surprise when we pointed to the sling. I think it helped that Eric was the one carrying her. We like to keep people on their toes...you never know what we'll come up with next.

Slings are awesome! I don't know why they haven't caught on more than they have. If Cadence had decided it was playtime after one of her 1 AM feedings, I would just pop her in the sling and walk around the house for several minutes and she would be out like a light. When in public, most people don't notice we're even carrying a baby until a little hand pops out. Some people figure it out before then. All I know is it works for us, and Cadence still seems to enjoy it. We have been affectionately associated with the word, "hippy". Now I lived in Santa Barbara for awhile and know what a real "hippy" looks like. In truth, this is not the first time I have had that word associated with me since I moved back to the Central Valley.

The other day at the grocery store I saw another new mom carrying her little one in a sling. As I passed her by, my own child nestled snuggly against my belly, I gave a knowing smile and nod. Hippies of the world, unite!

Texas Flat

In August we took a little camping trip with my folks to the family spot. Pisor's have been going there for generations. My dad said his grandfather, or was it his great-grandfather, started the tradition. It's a nice little spot nestled in the pines up past Calvin Crest, for those of you familiar with the area. It is not in Texas, nor would I call it flat. I'm not sure how it came by it's name but that really doesn't matter. I have fond memories of the place from our annual summer trips. This was a first for Eric and I hadn't been in years myself. But with the birth of our daughter I suddenly had this urge to reconnect with traditions gone by and introduce our little girl to the pleasures of pine scented air and the symphony of a stream. For those of you who know my dad, well ask him about the parting gift my daughter decided to bestow on him just minutes before we headed back down the mountain. Babies bowels are pretty elusive when it comes to predictability and sometimes diapers unfortunately don't deliver as they should. Ah Texas Flat...the memories I carry of you. Pines that seemed to stretch to the sky, a creek filled with endless possibilities, there was the time the bear came and the time a van of hippies rolled through. Countless images of times shared with cousins, family and friends, with solitude if chosen. And now my dad, christened with a streak of yellow, undoubtedly a grandfather. Texas Flat.

Undignified

To become a parent requires a loss of dignity. Of course I never considered myself to be one who held too tightly to my dignity, then I became pregnant, gave birth, and am now mothering a two month old. Pregnancy does strange and amazing things to a person. Someone who was once a pretty capable being is slowly transformed into an off-balance, small-bladdered, thick-ankled individual. The word indigestion takes on new meaning. And one's brain mysteriously takes unannounced vacations at some of the most inopportune times, like when speaking to a client on the phone...or in person.

And it's strange how certain parts of one's body you've spent years guarding from other's eyes become public domain. I'm sorry, is that my boob hanging out? Let me strap that thing back up for you. And for all you folks that have had the pleasure of using a bedpan...with others in the room I might add, well you know how that'll drain any dignity left right out of you. And it's certainly strange to discover that one's body can leak from so many different places at once.

Despite these things, I would do it all again in a heartbeat...and plan to someday...when Eric is ready, that is. So for now I'll enjoy that I don't have to use both my arms to heave myself off the sofa. I'll enjoy the fact I can sleep through the night without getting up to use the bathroom. I'll enjoy wearing all my shoes in comfort and relish the sight of my ankle bones. I'll enjoy a full meal without wondering if I brought the TUMS with me or not. I will love the fact that something as silly as a boob can make all the wrongs right for my daughter. I will be happy when it seems it's only my nose that's a little leaky. Hey, I'll even be grateful at the sight of a regular old toilet...so what if it's not too clean. And as for my brain, well I'm still waiting for it to return from that tropical vacation it took without me...I hope I at least get a postcard.