Undignified

To become a parent requires a loss of dignity. Of course I never considered myself to be one who held too tightly to my dignity, then I became pregnant, gave birth, and am now mothering a two month old. Pregnancy does strange and amazing things to a person. Someone who was once a pretty capable being is slowly transformed into an off-balance, small-bladdered, thick-ankled individual. The word indigestion takes on new meaning. And one's brain mysteriously takes unannounced vacations at some of the most inopportune times, like when speaking to a client on the phone...or in person.

And it's strange how certain parts of one's body you've spent years guarding from other's eyes become public domain. I'm sorry, is that my boob hanging out? Let me strap that thing back up for you. And for all you folks that have had the pleasure of using a bedpan...with others in the room I might add, well you know how that'll drain any dignity left right out of you. And it's certainly strange to discover that one's body can leak from so many different places at once.

Despite these things, I would do it all again in a heartbeat...and plan to someday...when Eric is ready, that is. So for now I'll enjoy that I don't have to use both my arms to heave myself off the sofa. I'll enjoy the fact I can sleep through the night without getting up to use the bathroom. I'll enjoy wearing all my shoes in comfort and relish the sight of my ankle bones. I'll enjoy a full meal without wondering if I brought the TUMS with me or not. I will love the fact that something as silly as a boob can make all the wrongs right for my daughter. I will be happy when it seems it's only my nose that's a little leaky. Hey, I'll even be grateful at the sight of a regular old toilet...so what if it's not too clean. And as for my brain, well I'm still waiting for it to return from that tropical vacation it took without me...I hope I at least get a postcard.