Rampage

I've never been a huge video gamer, but as a kid there was one arcade game I particularly favored. In the game Rampage, you get to be one of three or four people that has mutated into a giant animal...either a rat, a lizard, or monkey, I believe...and then run around terrorizing the city and trying to rack up as much destruction points possible in a limited amount of time. The premise of the game was simple and entertaining in an antisocial kind of way. The destruction included smashing buildings to the ground, throwing cars and eating hapless victims of circumstance who appeared in the wrong place at the wrong time. Of course throughout the play of each level, various forms of law enforcement would try to take you out in dutiful protection of their beloved city. So police choppers, squad cars and heavily munitioned foot soldiers all became mutant fodder in the wake of chaos and destruction. Recently as a heartfelt gift from my hubby, I received the PS2 version of this game, complete with original arcade mode. Ah the memories of innocent terror and destruction...

As it turns out lately, I need not plug in the good ol' PS2 to enjoy a few moments of mindless destruction and entertainment, but merely peek into the next room where a playing child has gone eerily silent. Funny the things that can happen in mere minutes at the hands of a toddler. From hands in the toilet and refuse recovered from the kitchen trash to misplaced keys, cell phones, and remotes. Needless to say Eric and I have been on a Rampage of our own installing safety latches, outlet covers, and closing doors securely behind us.

Ok, I have to admit, it's not as bad as it could be, I've heard of far worse, but here are a few highlights for your amusement:

1) One morning while preparing to head off to the work, I have the fridge open as I am packing food for the day for my daughter and I. I turn around and see Cadence peering into the refrigerator and kind of leaning over the bottom produce bins, pointing with great emphasis. Being that these bins are clear, curiously I peer down as well and can see some object that has made its way underneath, between the bottom of the bin and fridge. Naturally I thought something had fallen off the back of one of the shelves and slid under there, perhaps a stray ketchup packet. As I crouch down to get a better look, a familiar form meets my eye and I quickly use the tips of my fingers to retrieve none other than my set of house and car keys! I must humbly admit I'm not sure how this happened, well not exactly that is, as Cadence cannot open the fridge on her own. I'm just glad that despite my moments of distraction my child can seem to remember what she's done with some of her little treasures and have the decency to remind me of how clever she can be.

2) Another fine day I enter the dining room and look over into the living room to see my daughter examining the purse I had foolishly set down on the couch not moments ago. I don't know how she emptied the entire contents of my wallet so quickly...as I watched her fling credit cards onto the floor. This continued for a few minutes while I gathered the evidence of my daughter's deeds and let her know she had been caught. I'm just glad she hasn't figured out how to open makeup yet!

3) Just the other day I was in the kitchen while Eric sat in the living room relaxing. I turned around just in time to see my smiling daughter approach, appearing quite pleased as she leaves a trail of tampons behind her, not too unlike little Hansel and Gretel must have with their breadcrumbs. One by one they gently roll out of the box she is carrying in one hand, while chewing on another tampon with the other. To a one-year-old tampons are great fun. You take them out of the box, you put them back in the box, you take them out, put them back in, out again, in....so a few might not make it back in and instead end up in random and potentially embarrassing locations throughout the house, what's the big deal?