I started the program strong, but after a year and a half, began to struggle with balancing all the parts of my life. I also started working more hours, and got engaged and then married around that time. Besides all that was on my plate, the coursework became more challenging. In preparing to become a counselor or therapist, probably about as much time and energy spent on coursework is also spent on personal healing, growth and character development. With everything I had going on, and through much reflection, many conversations, and lots of prayer, I decided to step away from the program after three years of taking classes. I was not quite ready, and that was important to realize! For those of you who have known me for some time, you already know that in the past I was used to being a high achiever and meeting goals and deadlines with excellence. Stepping away from finishing school was very difficult for me, and humbling, but also a very important step in the right direction towards greater wholeness for me.
Since leaving the program I have worked many years in the social services field, become a mom, and continued to serve and actively participate in our local church congregation. There have been many changes, and ups and downs. And throughout that time I have grown, and learned more and more to recognize and embrace my own limits. This has been liberating! Before I often put pressure on myself to be close to perfect...an impossible standard to maintain, I am now more able to relax, savor, and enjoy life. I am more gracious to myself, and to others. Most importantly I have a greater understanding of how beautiful our imperfections can be, and how it is only through recognizing our shortcomings that we can permit ourselves to dive into healthy interdependence with others who are strong where, and when, we are weak.
Around three years ago I was at the Fresno airport with a teen girl I was sending to her family in Oklahoma, when I ran into one of my former professors from the counseling program. She and her husband were waiting for a plane as well. We got to talking and she urged me to consider coming back to complete my degree, and gave me the name of who I should talk to if I wanted to investigate that further. About a month later I was enrolled in a class!
Over the past year my school officially merged with Fresno Pacific University. Eric is an alum there too, and my parents took some classes there back in the day...before becoming love struck. But most importantly, I completed my degree! It may have taken me five to six years of study over the course of ten years, but here I am now, done. I have been amazed by the process. Thanks to all of you who knew I could do this, and kept me going with your words, thoughts, presence and prayers. Thanks for sharing parts of your stories along the way. I imagine many of you. near and far away, as well as departed from this life, as my cloud of witnesses, my cheerleaders, and my strength when it could not be found within myself. I could not have done this without you in my life. Thank you!
And now for a few pictures:
The final copy of my senior paper, as well as copies of two years worth of clinical stats all ready for submission:
There I am...ready for that hood!
My whole family is excited that I will no longer be grafted to books and my computer!
This is Delores, my professor, and advisor, who found me at the airport. Our faculty took the grads from the program out to dinner at a brazialian steakhouse, yum!
And now...onward towards licensure!!!
1 comment:
Awesome, Congrats!
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